May 11, 2012
by Roge Slater
For in it the righteousness of God is revealed from faith to faith; as it is written, “But the righteous man shall live by faith.”
We pray in the name of you, our father and of your money, and of Vodka, the Holy Spirit.
I have cause to write again on behalf of myself and my brothers (well, except my actual brother) to implore that you support us, your favourite sons in our quest to succeed where our peers have failed; to bring great honour and exaltation upon your oligarchy.
Yet again the soothsayers and scribes seem intent on decrying our achievements, using the power of their written word to force a breach in the harmony that now reigns supreme among my peers and your faithful servants. But, with your help Lord Roman, we will be strong – strong enough to overthrow these fools and their European alliances!
You will see that since you have replaced the Latino youth with an Italian brother our fortunes have multiplied tenfold. Many have written that this is because of the influence of me, your leader in battle and the devotion of my senior lieutenants, but this is not the case – it is simply that your chosen one has returned our brotherhood to the fore, discarding the upstarts of the Latino’s future vision.
Forgive me, I digress. As you have seen we have conquered the invading Italians and subsequently have fought a great battle against the Spaniards, but we know these are both races of indifferent temperament. Now, we have a more stoic challenge at hand against the might of the Germanic nations.
Both sides will be weakened by the toils of previous success and despite the offers of even your greatest riches, it seems that the heads of Europe will not be coerced into a trade between the two foes, a trade such that would allow your leader to do battle — yet they will grant me the honour of collecting the prize our victory will bring.
My concern is that we must do battle in the homeland of our foe – a homeland that once your great nation in the East fought against with great success, repelling their attacks on many fronts, but a nation that is once again strong since its unification. Also, you will of course know of our nation’s great success four and more decades ago against these foes — when your peers with whistle and flag assisted us as we turned back the tide
We must ask that you do all in your power to ensure once again that our two nations are joined against this foe, realising that is essential if we are to bring great fortune and pride forth for our next campaign.
In our homes we are also challenged. Some may have thought that the recent battle held against homelanders from the north west was key in our thoughts, but it was no more than a slight distraction — and one from which we drew success. We battle to bring these honours to our bosom, but they are an irrelevance in the great scheme that shapes our future.
Our target is those that breed a great divide in their city, those of blue and red who seem set to dominate. Our target henceforth must be to at least divide and then to conquer. The fortunes to be gained from our European campaign will surely support these endeavours — we have seen the French among other fall in their wake this past year, but this strengthens our resolve for future success…
From a personal stance it seems that my position as leader of this great country is once more under threat. Those who see fit to rule have appointed a man from the shadows of whom I know little, yet he has already set out his stall by communication with the brother of he who challenges my honour. It seems he is the favoured once for this summers foray and again I may be cast aside, left to contemplate the judgement of others as summer days shorten. To this end I must ask again that if you have any influence in these circles you honour me with your support. I know that you would ask not of me in return, but I can promise that for this I would not stand in the way of your choice of our new General…
There are a number of your lieutenants’ who have experience beyond their years (though it is true that these years are fast catching up) and I am sure that I can speak for all when I say that with the honour of some extension of our terms, each will be as supportive as I. Indeed, we would be vocal in our support especially if your given son, Roberto, is to be the chosen one…
We are sure that you can see the advantages that are to be gained from our conjoined strengths, and we are hopeful that you will honour us all with your support,
Yours in perpetuity (or at least until my contract runs out), your ever faithful disciple,
St John’s Second Letter To Thee, Roman by Roger Slater is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.